I wanted to cry

I want to burst out cry. I couldn’t hang on everyday. Someday I could be strong and happy but someday I couldn’t.

I have problems in my family. My grandma complaining that she got feel the pain on her abdominal. My 1st bro vomited today.

My mum and me had tried our best to look after them and supported them, why my 1st bro doesn’t want to take his own initiative to take care of himself. He could walk, eat and sleep. Why he need us to worry about him, anymore? I pity my mum most of the time. I couldn’t handle this emotion anymore.

I see my mum wakes up early in the morning, doing the house chores, preparing breakfast and lunch for my 1st bro and grandma then she goes to work until the late night she comes back and doing the house chores, preparing drinks for my 1st bro and she goes to sleep in the midnight.

She does that in daily life. I for myself, I don’t think I could do it.

I’m weak, emotionally. And I cry. Couldn't help it.

I know my life is not the sad case, other families even worst.

Worries

I tried to take things easily to move on with my life, or am I being too much? I don't know how to explain. Since I got something happened in my family and myself, my feelings were numb. I'd moved on.

Mum was worried. She has a lot of things in her mind to worry. My grandma, my brothers and now it was me. She thoughts that she has nothing to worry about me cause she knew that I could take care of myself. But now she is very concern about me.

Though me and my mum wasn't close as much as we could but I love her. Something I have feeling doubts in myself, unsecure and selfish. Most of the time I don't share with my mum, I don't know why.

Sorry mum for worrying about me. I have no intention to worry about me. Not intend to.

MATTA Fair, September 2006

Yesterday and again, I hanged out yam char with a long time friend. We started our session at mamak past 11pm until past 1am.

We talked most the things that we were far behind about our life. It’s been a long time we were not meet since 7 years ago, I guess. Therefore, it was a good advises and plans that we were discussed. I was enjoying seeing an old friend and we had talked a lot.

I would like to thanks for all the hassle for fetching me, yam char together and also the small gift from Australia. It was thoughtful.

I hope we could have more conversation and more yam char session again. Thank ya!

Today, I went to MATTA Fair at PWTC this afternoon. I went with my colleague and his friends. And nice meeting you people. :)


We reached there at about past 1pm. We’d got to buy the entrance ticket RM3 in order to get in. I was expected the place to be crowded but it was not as many people as during the PC Fair. We went into the Hall 1 and 2 where most of the travel agents companies have their foreign travel promotions. I was just looking around while gather some information that I wanted, but most of the promotions of the time period were extended to 31 March 2007. The prices were reasonable if you’re prepared with your savings.

I’m not sure what the time we had our lunch but we went to the shopping mall to have Pizza Hut. After we had finished, we went back for second round hunting. This time we went to Hall 3 where most of the agents were having local travel promotions. We were not interested to find out more about the promotions but we headed back to Hall 1 and 2.

My colleague’s friends bought the travel packages and we finally finished our hunting at about 7pm. It was 6 hours we were hanging out in the fair. But it was a good experience; at least you know where to hunt for the prices.

The next fair will be at 16 – 18 March 2007. Those who want to travel maybe can check it out on this coming fair, next year.

Hang Out

Yesterday night I hanged out with my colleagues and ex-colleagues. Some of us (4 people) went to Esquire Kitchen to have our dinner at around past 8pm. Then later on, all of us (6 people) turned up for the yam char session at PJ. The guys have their beer while the gals had the orange juice.

We started our yam char session around at past 10pm until almost midnight. We talked all the crap most of the time but we were enjoying our drinks.

Most of us complain about our hectic works that we will never satisfy. Sometimes we talked something that was unfair to our life. Heck them, we were just trying to express our stress amongst us. It was a way to express our dissatisfaction among friends that we trusted.

Therefore it was a good way to relieve our tension. :)

And for today, I did something this afternoon. I don’t want to say it all here. Let it be a secret.

After what I’d done with my stuff, I went to ex-colleague’s house to ‘lepak’. She just bought a small little puppy and I don’t know what breed. I can’t remember what she had told me because my interest pet is just a cat! Anyway, her puppy is damn cute and small.


I had dinner with her and her boyfriend at somewhere Miharja, the neighborhood street restaurant. Not bad at all the dishes. We had dishes like crab, meat, chicken and vege. I’m kinda full now. I had forgotten to take some pictures of the dishes although I brought the digi-camera in my bag. It was good, tasty and cheap too. Here I would like to thank her boyfriend for the dinner. Thank you!

;)

Bath

It has been for the past 3 weeks, my cat, Cum-Mon never taken his bath. I know it sounds wrong and you guys might think that he is such a dirty cat. Yup, you’re right! He is very dirty. He likes to hang around the garden, plays with his gang-friend cats (neighborhoods), sleep on the dirt-ground; he likes to go everywhere as a role of a ‘street-cat’. But he never goes far away from home. Still the home is best for him. :)

So, since the 3 weeks were a lot of thing had happened and also with the weather condition, today I manage to get my ass up early morning to bath him. His originality color of his fur was orangish but it turned to ‘kopi-o’ instead.

It almost took at least half and hour to rub him nicely without leaving any spot of his dirt’s. I poured a lot of cat’s shampoo and rinse him thoroughly with warm water.

He is clean and smells good now.

Renew

I went to renew my passport. Wanted to renew since my passport expired on January this year but there were certain excuses that I couldn't have it done.

Now it finally had done.

5 years then was ugly. We got to take our picture on the spot while processing the passport application. And now, we could take the passport picture at anywhere photo-shops that we could get.

Here is mine:

I got to change them into gray scale colors to protect any simulated.

I know I look the same but there are differences.

Norm

I'd posted some of the sad thing happened to me and I didn't asked for the publicity for sympathy or attraction. That the only way I could say something that I keep in myself. I had removed them from the blog as I'd let it go for it past.

I'm over it. Nothing to be despair. Life moves on.

There a lot of things I wanted to do. Well, I got manage the time to get things done.

Now, for the moment, I got to love myself, live happily with amongst my friends and families.

And I won't forget to update my blog.

p/s: Thanks to my friends and families for being there for me. I'm really do appreciate that. Don't forget to call me out for outing, ya!

Nightmare

This year, especially in August month has happened a lot of unexpected scenes/incidents. Firstly is about my grandma. She got a sudden ill on 19th August in the very first early morning. She was not fully conscious of her behaviors. My mum was very concern with her health though she has had her sickness. We (families & relatives) were aware of her sickness but something is bad happening to her. My grandma was trembling and she couldn’t walk herself as she used to. She couldn’t get down from her bed and even she was complaining that she has no energy to walk. She got cram on her legs. Mum quickly informed other siblings about grandma’s condition.

Mum even cried in front of her, since there was no response when asking her whether she wants to see a doctor. She barely moves. Mum bathed her. Dressed her while waiting for aunties and uncles to come to decide whether to bring her to see a doctor. They all asked grandma. They persuade her to see doctor but she scared to get admitted. They explained to her if she doesn’t want to get admitted, at least just see the doctor to get the prescriptions. Then she agreed.

Uncle bought lunch and we had it in the house together with grandma. She still has some energy to eat but we got to feed her. We have several of foods on the table but she doesn’t have her appetite. She just ate the porridge. They all wait for Uncle Mike to fetch them with his cargo van. I guess they went at about past 7-8pm. I wasn’t there. I was tired and asleep. I was at home until they came back nearly at past 11pm. The doctor said my grandma got a heat throat infection. I do not know what term in medical words but something heaty in her body. She does not comsume enough water in her body.


But now, the present she is okay. She is just unstable to walk with her foot. She needs something a stick to support her walks.

Secondly, there were something happening in my workplace. I doesn't want to tell all but one of its that the back-up server for our publishing was crashed. We got to re-do the whole magazines in a short time before send for print. That was havoc. Stay overnight to finish them up. Problem solved.

Then it was my broken up with Michael of the 7 years relationship. It's been 8 days after the separation, I'm ok.

During that 8 days, there was something happened too not only my separation. I was so stress but tried to concentrate other things like my bro has to admit to hospital. I was brave enough after the separation, accompany my mum to hospital. Took almost a week of leave to take care of my bro in the hospital. Mum was busy with her works since the day she left her work without giving her employers the notice. I was going to and fro hospital. Pretty exhausted. Staying with bro in the hospital was quite boring. Nothing much to do but read newspaper early in the morning and some reading books.


When the days he was getting better, I informed him that I go out/hang out with my friends at certain places that will come back to the hospital later. But now, my bro is discharged and came back to home. Everyday he needs to take his medicines as to follow-up with the hospital after the 2 months intake. Sigh.

A lot of things happen in the house but I wouldn't want to share it here. Its kind of personal to me and to my family.

Life moves on. Deal with the obstacles. Love people who is around us especially families and friends. Be optimistic.

If I need to complain or need someone to talk to, I'll know who to find. There always the yam char session with friends and families.

Marisa's Birthday

It was Marisa's birthday yesterday. I got a very short notice of invitation from her in Friendster. It was very thoughtful to have her invitation.

Therefore it was a very last minutes of the notice, I got to shop for her birthday present. Hardly to think whether what kind of present that she likes. I have typical clueless. Though I knew Marisa since the secondary school but we don't really keep in touch that long until we were exhanging/view each other blogs.

I left the office at around 5.30pm. Reach Mid valley Shopping Mall at nearly 6pm. Helped my colleague to post some mails, withdrawing some cash from postal money and bought alot of stamps . That took me about 15minutes. I headed to Maybank to help my colleague to bank-in more than a dozen of cheques.

After I finished up with the office stuff, I tried to walk around and I came across this shop of La Zenza. I saw pairs of sexy, cute, attractive, comfortable and fashionable nightclothes that would be the best choice as a present for her.

Her size is small, so I asked for a super small size for her. Too bad I didn't take any picture of the nightclothes that I chose. Then I came across this fancy shop where they sell big pin with tangly cute little thingy on. Bought that and I pinned it onto the top of the nightclothes.

Anyway, she likes it very much and she told me its prefectly fit her body. :)
And here are the pictures:

The Devil Wears Prada Novel

I read this novel 2 months ago when I found out the trailer in Apple Trailers and caught my attention to anticipate to wait for the movie.

I find it easy to read although some of the words I need to check on the dictionary to understand more. But bad thing about this book is that there are repetition of certain plots. Certain phrases were amazingly presented but what I like the most is the last part/end of the story on how Andrea Sachs as the junior assisstant of Miranda Priestly that 'the job a million girls would die for' ended her works with her boss in Paris.

Pretty humorous that Miranda Priestly, the most powerfull editor-in-chief for Runway Magazine who is arrogant, snobbish, unreasonableand quite bitchy too portrays its character so insanely.

Anyhow, I'd seen the movie. I found out what I had read was not exactly show in the movie. Totally different, different plots. In the novel, Andrea Sachs has drunken best friend Lily who is still studying, Nate the boyfriend who teaches in school and Emily the first assistant to Miranda was helpful and good co-worker to Andy (Andrea).

In the movie shown the totally different kind of story but adapted some part from the novel. I don't know. I doesn't like the movie as its shown. Maybe I should read one more time to understand better.

Ulu Yam - Sungai Tua - 2nd Visit

As I mentioned, I went to Ulu Yam again last weekend. Actually the place was not called Ulu Yam but Sungai Tua. This time I went with more than 3 people. The same person like last time but with their own companion. 6 of us; Jeffery, Wei Yi (his girlfriend), Ken, Hui-Hui (his girlfriend), Riza and me.

We were planned to have a small little picnic near the stream. Hui-Hui brought her specialty home-made tuna and ham sandwiches while Wei Yi brought egg sandwiches. I bought a watermelon. The guys didn't bring anything except themselves.


We reached there at about 1.30pm and we used the same area but we hiked further upper stream to get a better spot. We crossed across the stream and we set our little picnic on the huge slanting rocks.


First, we got soaked ourselves and walk-about the stream then we have our little lunch. Jeffery cut the melon after its being stored into the cold water stream for a while. We ate, talked, looked around and took some photos. I brought the Olympus u720SW, the waterproof digi-camera from office to take the pictures.

Before I show some of the underwater photos, let me show the pictures of us having fun with posing. There is one photo where Jeffery was being sucked by a leech in between his toes.


And now let me present the Olympus u720SW digi-camera can do for in the water.


We spent our day of picnic at least 4 hours. I followed Riza walked around the stream as he was taking some snapshot with his gear (DSLR) camera for his own pleasure. Then he asked me to be his model to pose certain angle or became his assistant to do some stunts. And here some of his photos that I'd involved. :)

Got an Hair Cut

I got an hair cut last Saturday. I've been keeping my hair long that annoyed me with this humid weather that I couldn't stand. Finally made my decision to cut them short right on the shoulder, trimmed, layered and fringed.

I got this new fringe but I'm not sure whether it suits me. I didn't take any picture of myself but hmmm maybe later you will see what am I look like.

:)

Ulu Yam

It always been a complaining post in every month after past few days never update the blog. Now I'm right here after finished the publishing deadlines, finally; as usual. Wanted to post the activities during the weekends but there's no time.

So, just want to post some pictures here.

Looks nice that away from the hectic city and workloads. It was time for a relaxing and tranquil acts. It was past 2 weeks ago. My colleagues which were Jeffery, Ken and me went to Ulu Yam for waterfall. But then we didn't went for the 'waterfall' instead the mini downstream. We couldn't find the waterfall as we all were not familiar with that place.

We started our journey on Sunday late afternoon towards from Batu Caves to Ulu Yam direction. Sunday afternoon was a good time to have fun at waterfall. Less people. Less traffic. Less noise.

We took our brunch at the Ulu Yam town at mamak. Ken stated that 'maggi mee goreng' was the best to eat, so far, far away from town. We couldn't find the best local dish: 'Loh-mee'.

We had a good time although 3 of us nothing much else to do but soak in the cold clean water while shivering and trembling. I didn't soak in cos I wasn't prepared with extra lingerie. The whole time I was the camera-gal holder to capture the scenes and pictures.

R contains Adult Situations ;P


This coming weekends might have plan for another visit to the waterfall of Ulu Yam.

Spider-Cat

This morning while I was waiting for a taxi to go to work, my cat; Cum-Mon tried to impress me. I was standing outside the house's entrance gate, there he climbed up the gate like a spiderman. He reached to the top and walked like a ballet. Then I quickly take out my camera-phone to capture one of his stunts.


Although this might load very slow, I advise to pause the video for a while before play.

After his stunts, the taxi came and I carried him down before I left. I scared that he might jump over the fence that reach to neighbour house.

:)

Adobe Photoshop World Asia 2006

Wednesday; the whole day I was not in the office. Off for attending a free workshop/seminar organised by Adobe South East Asia.

It begins at 9.000am at Hilton KL til 5.00pm. It started with 2 Speakers who were Ton Frederiks, Senior Application Engineer, Adobe Systems Benelux, Holland and Marianne Young, Solutions Engineer, Adobe Systems, South East Asia. Both of them were presented quite good that most of the attendees didn't fall asleep.

That workshop is mainly talk about Adobe Photoshop CS2 top new features that work efficiently in editing, processing and file handling with Adobe Bridge. Marianne and Ton showed alot of tricks and tips on certain command/short-cut keys to create and artwork with an image. What I like most of the feature in Photoshop CS2 is the 'Vanishing point' which match the perspective of a surrounding area.

The workshop has 3 part session which are Photoshop Geeks, Darkroom Academy and lastly the Photography Live. The Photography Live session was bad because the Speaker was dull and boring with his speeches. Mostly he talked more on the product rather than his own portfolio/achievements. Some of the attendees were sleeping that I managed to capture one in the picture.

Overall, that workshop is an advantage for me to learn something new in their software although I'm still using the old version of Photoshop.

Back Then

Why 'back then'? Just for your information, I'm freaking damn lazy person or you may say that I have little effort of exertion to use up a whole roll of film in my fully manual camera.

If you follow up my blogsite contents, you could have read this in 'FRIM'. I did stated that:

"I took some pictures but I haven't send the film for process (which I haven't finish the role of a film)"

Here are they:

Taste of Summer at Starbucks

Last Sunday went to attend an invitation from Starbucks Coffee. I was given 3 invitation passes and I invited Jeffery and Ken to come along. It held at Starbucks Coffee 1Utama (Old Wing) to celebrate their new drinks in their permanent beverages.


The event was crowded with 2 clowns, DJ and alot of baristas and staff. The event were opened for the invitated guests where we were given privileges to drink whatever they provided like Iced Tazo green tea, iced water and Iced coffee. They had a corner of free body-paint. Most of the staff had painted on their faces or arms/hand. The guests were not left out.

The event started at past 3pm where the guests divided into 3 group where accompany by the staff leader itself. The game is starting with booth hopping where given an introduction of certain new drinks/foods to taste and drink and provided with a question to win the game from each booth. There were 3 booths; 1)New Frappuccino drinks: Java Chip & Chocolate Cream Chip 2)New hot Coffee drinks: Kopi Kampung, Brazil Ipanema & Peru Ipanema 3)New summer food-Banana Chocolate Chip Muffin.

From a group itself divided into 2 team where both team need to compete each other to win the game. How ironic. My group - Green, split into 2 where my team was the loser that lost mostly to the young generation who were energetic and more paying attention than us. Jeffery and me were in a team where else Ken was in another team with the youngsters. Whatever the game was, my team will lose pathetically.

So, Ken's team won the prizes. Next was the lucky draws section and Ken got lucky to get picked that his tagname's number was called. I got nothing but got into finalist on Best Summer Attire category. They called out 3 finalist in Best Female Summer Attire and 3 finalist in Best Male Summer Attire.

I was wearing shocking pink pant with vibrant orange V-neck shirt. Sadly I didn't win anything, again. But luckily that we were wasn't empty handed when the event was over. Every each guest who leave the event were given a goodies bag.

At least, I got something from Starbucks. :)


Summary: Starbucks Coffee is going to have their new drinks; Java Chip Frappuccino Blended Coffee and Chocolate Cream Frappuccino Blended Cream in their menu as to replace their promotional Rhumba Frappuccino, permanently. For those who love the mixture of coffee and chocolate, this is the optional for you.

Frankly, I prefer Java Chip Frappuccino although it tastes very sweet and the mixture of their rich coffee, cocoa and chocolate with milk that blend perfectly into smooth yummies delight.


Just ponder, I received the Starbucks International newsletter on their summer fruit Frappuccino blended beverages;Pomegranate Frappuccino® juice blend and Tangerine Frappuccino® juice blend for tropical retreat. How come in Malaysia they never introduce or make some promotional period for these drinks during this hot summer season. Instead they were promoting the Java Chip Frappuccino Blended Coffee and Chocolate Cream Frappuccino Blended Cream. Does it clash with the drinks on the hot summer days? Kinda heaty for the body.


I read the press release that stated:

“Starbucks hand-picked these flavors to capture the essence of summer,
knowing that our customers want the most refreshing beverages that surprise and delight their senses with appealing ingredients and unexpected tastes,” said Michelle Gass, senior vice president of Category Management. “The summer months – particularly July – are typically the ‘hottest’ times of the year for Frappuccino® blended beverages, our new thirst-quenching flavors are sure to tempt the taste buds throughout the year.”

Heard the rumours that Starbucks Malaysia has done with their own research/review that our Malaysians don't accept these fruity drinks. How wonder...

“Both beverages contain fruit juice, are naturally fat-free, low in calories, cholesterol-free and completely non-dairy. And like all Starbucks beverages, they can be customized with any flavor of Tazo® tea – caffeinated or caffeine free."

How unfortunate. Must be tasty for a perfect summer refresher.

Melanie's Wedding at Melaka

[Edited] Last week was Melanie's wedding dinner at Hotel Equatorial in Melaka. Melanie was my colleague who got married with her beloved charming husband in her life. Just want to congrate her and new life begins with a wonderful and happiness with her own family.

So, my other colleagues were invited and we planned to go to Melaka together. We started our journey by stopping by at my place as the check-point. Before they came, I was busy preparing by putting on my make-up. While I was sitting on the floor and putting on the make-up, this snobbish cat, Com-Mon came onto my lap. I didn't ask him to come over but he came by himself.


Melanie's wedding was so amazing of the backdrop. Fresh roses surround the stage and the aisle. Live performance with soothing musics. Dinner was great and delicious.

Let the pictures speak itself. Say no more. (Actually lazy to tell further. Hee)

Donation?

It was Thursday nite, right after my overtimes working in the office, rushing for the publishing deadlines, blah.. blah... blah..

Jeffery fetched me home that night. Before that, he wanted to go Maybank to check his current account availability. There I was waiting for him in the car while looking at the Indian lady who was wearing sunglasses with her bag on her shoulder while carrying a pink clear folder on her hand standing outside.

I was wondering why so late in the night she was standing alone outside the Maybank. Expected as I was, she was asking for donation in front of the Maybank. Whoa...


Here is Jeffery the victim.

My question that why is such a late night need someone to stand outside the bank for donation? Don't you think that is dangerous to that lady while wearing a sunglasses in the night?!! Doesn't she scare 'kena' rob by someone just in front of her while her bag contains some money?!!

Another question, is there a desperation of the needs for donation in the late night? Wondering who is the organisation such a cold-blooded asking for donation by sending this such old Indian lady in the late night.

World is changing. Everything is possible.

The Fastest Clock in the Universe

[Edited] Watched the play yesterday. It was an experimental play where it held at Pentas 2 that I've never been to. Pentas 2 was small with staging plastic chairs and it was free seatings. The people were piled up around the entrance in order to get the better viewed seat.

Before I begin, just let you know what the play is about - (Sources from KLPac)
The Fastest Clock in the Universe is the MUST SEE production of 2006. This multi award winning play by the equally awarded Philip Ridley, boasts a cast that is 'tailor-made' for this production.

The Fastest Clock in the Universe is a play on several levels. It tells the story of a 30-year-old who refuses to accept the fact that he ages on a yearly basis. This results in each birthday he celebrates being his 19th birthday.

Agonisingly funny, while at the same time frighteningly horrific, the play is sure to entertain even the most discerning theatre-goer. The one thing you must not do...is miss it!
Recommended for mature audiences only.

At first when I read what is the play about in the internet, I never expect the outcome.

The stage was designed with stuffed birds from dangle above the apartment and everywhere. Nice stage presented with antique not junk stuff. The first act acted by Gavin Yap as Cougar Glass with his half naked featured his six-pack body muscle, sunglasses, a pair of jean, black boots and puffing the cigarette while drinking a beer. Frankly, quite smelly the place with a lit of cigarette. Then there came in Ari Ratos as Captain Tock carrying a box of cake and Vocka. The language they spoke were quite vulgar with F*** words.

There were some obscene gestures during the play that you need to find your own. Heeheee.
Overall it was a nice play. Good performance Niki, Gavin Yap, Ari Ratos and Joanna Bessy (you're so cute in the act). :)